


This Sweet Child Of Mine

by TheRedLotusFlower88



Series: The Life And Times of Nagachika Hideyoshi and Sakamoto Ryuji (may or may not include boyfriends) [8]
Category: Persona 5, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, Bromance, Canon Related, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hide and Ryuji don't deserve this, I want these people to STOP HURTING THE GOOD BOIS, Protectiveness, Self-Esteem Issues, feelsbadman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 07:59:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13759710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRedLotusFlower88/pseuds/TheRedLotusFlower88
Summary: It wasn't fair, Hide thought as he balled his hands into a fist. They keep insulting him, and put him down so much, that they failed to notice the GOOD things Ryuji has done for them. These are the people Ryuji calls a friend?In which Hide realizes Ryuji's feelings has been hurt too many times, and Ryuji realizes Hide's been in the dark for far too long.





	This Sweet Child Of Mine

The more Hide thought about it, the more angrier he gets. He tries not to, because Hide generally wasn't an angry person, but after listening to Ryuji's story, and seeing how sad the teen gets when he starts confessing his insecurities, he can't help, _but_ be angry. At who? Surprise, surprise, it's his so-called 'friends'.

And Hide doesn't mean that in a bad way; he _has_ meet Ryuji's friends, and they're all likeable in their own way, it's just....

It is _so_ hard not to dislike them when they keep belittling Ryuji at every turn. The boy already had a broken past, why do they insist on making more for him? Why do they have to constantly put him on the spot, never listening to anything he has to say, and just in general write him off as a character used for jokes and never taken seriously. It's hard not to dislike them when they've painted Ryuji as the guy they should all point and laugh at because Ryuji isn't smart. Ryuji doesn't do everything with grace like Akira or even Yusuke. Ryuji is just someone meant to take a punch, and then have him shove it off because HEY, he's the guy who's been in worse situations, right? Surely Ryuji knows they are all joking, right?

But are they, though? It was kind of hard to tell. It's hard to even call them friends when they all had, at one point or another, disregarded Ryuji and made jokes about him that honestly made Hide wince when he hears them. Funny enough, he sometimes sees Akira flinching, as if the jokes were physically hurting him, but he isn't doing anything about it, which is even more disappointing. When he and Ryuji gets to talking, all he hears is a boy trying to find his place in the world, and then he hears all the admiration and love he has for his best friend, the one guy Ryuji swears he'll do anything for. When he looks into Ryuji eyes, he sees some desperate hope that's on its way of giving out, all because Ryuji doesn't feel important enough to the team. All it really does is make Hide wrap his arms around the fellow dyed blond, and never let him go.

(But he can't do that. That's Akira's job, he knew that for a fact.)

Hide tries to get his mind off it by talking about their favorite animes and listening to some music, and sometimes it helps, but Hide could tell that Ryuji was still hurt - still insecure about himself. Hide understands that'll take some time before Ryuji can love himself, but he wants Ryuji to understand that what his friends say about him isn't okay, especially in terms of Morgana.

Hide has never hated a cat so much in his life.

He doesn't understand what's Morgana's deal with Ryuji is. The cat picks on him so much, and this is only made worse when the team, with the exception of Akira, does the same thing. He can't outright say it's a blonde's thing, because Morgana's behavior around Ann says otherwise, and thinking on that made Hide so _angry._ From what Ryuji had told him, and from what Hide has seen himself, Ann is perfectly cable of taking care of herself, and the cat was pretty much _white-knighting_ her, as if she needed it. The fact that nobody calls him out for this is amazing, and yet still, Ann allows it to go on when she should be at least a little bit annoyed with the constant praises, and 'defending her honor' when there's no honor for him to defend. There are moments where she _had_ said something about it in one way or another, but those are few and far in between, and at this point, whenever Morgana says something nice to her, all she does is smile and nod before ignoring him completely. Still, it didn't seem like he gets it, and Morgana has never shown this much attention to the other girls, so can Morgana really say he's a gentlemen? Really?

And yet, even more disturbing is the act of when Haru joins the team.

Ryuji had told him what went down. Hide's only reaction was to bring Ryuji into a hug while internally screaming at the team.

How is it fair to blame Ryuji for hurting Morgana's feelings when the cat did _nothing_ but insult and harass Ryuji every chance he gets? How can all of them just  _make_ Ryuji apologize for something Morgana has started, and when Ryuji was _finally_ able to stand up for himself, it turns out Morgana can't take what he dishes out? _How_?! Morgana never acted like a teammate to Ryuji - why should Ryuji start acting like one to someone who's only using the Phantom Thieves for his own personal goal? And when _that_ turns out poorly, how does Morgana react? Like a know-it-all, acting like he's better than everyone, and worst still, he found the _one_ person who probably wouldn't give him much shit in the first place had his first reaction to Ryuji wasn't to be hostile. And Ryuji didn't deserve that.

And maybe the rest of the team didn't know of Ryuji's past like Hide or Akira did, but that didn't mean to treat him like he's unable to learn anything, unable to change his ways. From what Hide could see, Ryuji was a good, honest, guy who only has good intentions even if they're a little screwed. And yet....

Hide huffed out a sigh.

It's not fair for Ryuji to feel the way that he does; the thing with Kamoshida, with Morgana, his father. Out of the three, two of those weren't his fault, and he should never feel like a burden just because there are some hateful people in this world. The thing with Morgana isn't without fault of Ryuji; both of them needs to stop egging each other on, but more so with Morgana. If Akira carries him around everywhere he goes, then he should know about how his old teammates treat him, how his father treat him. Yet even with this, Morgana still acts all high and mighty and Ryuji was his stepping stool. Hide had never wanted to confront someone like he does with Morgana, not even Kaneki's bullies.

And as he sit there, and watch Ryuji's face and how sad he looks, Hide thought, maybe it was time to bring Ryuji's friends actions to attention with someone who does appreciate Ryuji, besides himself.

* * *

Ryuji doesn't understand the relationship between Hide and Kaneki, and how the use-to-be black haired boy had all, but abandon him.

From what he knows, he and Kaneki were tight, almost as close as he and Akira was. Unlike Akira, Hideyoshi and Kaneki had been childhood friends that grew up together, did everything together, and then one day, all of that went out the window thanks to an incident in a construction site that had Kaneki going into the hospital. Since then, the two had never been the same, and Hide, being the social person that he is, had been deeply hurt as their time together continued to get shorter and shorter, until eventually, stopped altogether.

Not currently, of course, seeing how the two found each other again, and were even more than friends, but still. Hide had open up about how Kaneki was now a ghoul, and despite knowing that, somewhere deep inside him, they had started to drift apart - Hide being replaced with the other ghouls in a coffee shop named Anteiku.

And that was the part Ryuji didn't understand.

They were best friends. They had grown up together. How could Kaneki just abandon that?! He would've thought the dyed blond  _meant_ something to him, that if Kaneki truly had cared like Hide says he does, shouldn't he been able to talk about that? Granted, becoming a half-ghoul was something of a shock and he could understand why Kaneki didn't want to talk about it right away, but honestly? Hide _deserved_ to know. The boy had been nothing, but kind to him, became his first friend, and _this_ is how he gets treated? Thrown away like some used toy, as if what they had meant nothing to him. Of course Hide was going to feel betrayed and hurt, he had seen it in the boy's eyes, and that made Ryuji _angry._ Made him want to give Kaneki a piece of his mind, because he _dares_ call him a friend when he treats Hide like shit? Really?

But of course, it wouldn't be fair to entirely blame Kaneki for this - it was Touka's fault too.

Ryuji had met the other ghouls now that he, Akira, Kaneki, and Hide were friends, and honestly, he wasn't too thrilled to see Touka. She was pretty, he'll give her that, but at the end of the day, there had been clear disdain for humans written on her face. Maybe not to the point like some other ghouls, who would outright say that they hate humans, but it became obvious that she didn't trust them. And it became apparent that this was the case when she had told Kaneki to be careful of Hide.

 _Just who the hell does she think she is?!_ And what's worst is that Kaneki _believed_ her. He had believed her, believed that whenever Hide was hurt, it somehow came back to him (and....yeah, kind of. After the Nishiki thing, he can see why, but that wasn't on Kaneki, as Ryuji had explained to Hide. Nishiki sounded like an asshole, and just got pissed that Touka kicked his ass - that's all), and forced himself to stay away. Had ignored Hide, never answered his calls, and whenever Hide asked about him, it was clear they wouldn't give him away. It honestly made Ryuji want to punch Kaneki.

How the hell do you choose a random girl you barely even met over someone who has known you the longest, always had your back, is able to cheer you up because he loves you enough to do it, and has risked life and limb for you? The same way Ryuji had risked his life and limb for his friends, despite their sometimes cruel words? _How?!_

And no matter what Touka had thought of, Hide would _never_ be the kind of person to ditch Kaneki. Ryuji knows it whenever Hide spoke about him, saw the love in his eyes and smile, despite the pain of being abandon, despite hearing the tears whenever Hide spoke about it. In a way, Ryuji sees himself in Hide when it came to his friends, when it came to Akira, especially Akira.

And it honestly doesn't help that Ryuji could see Hide developing issues with being alone because of this. Since he and Kaneki are close friends, all the blond had _was_ Kaneki, no other friends, and especially no parents. Because of that, Hide had spent so much time and effort in Kaneki that, when the time came, and Kaneki had started to find a place he could call 'home' (how is Hide not his home???), he'll have a hard time letting go. In fact, it's already started, with that Hide continuously followed him whenever he had a lead of where Kaneki could've gone just before they met up again. And honestly? Ryuji knows he'll be the same.

Ryuji didn't have a friend before Akira. Not since the incident with Kamoshida. Everyone had avoided him and thrown disgusted looks among his way, and it had _hurt_ because it made him believe he'd been in the wrong, even if someone else told him he was in the right. It had made him feel insecure about himself, had him wondering if he was any better than his dad, and then there was Akira. Akira, who had graced him with his presence, and stood up for him when no one else would, or didn't. Akira, who had always something encouraging to say about Ryuji, who indulge him by hanging out in their favorite places, doing Ryuji's favorite things. Akira, who became his best friend, slowly ebbing into becoming a crush.

And then Akira's circle started to grow, and Akira didn't have much time for him anymore, and Ryuji, who's been attention deprived for so long, who had latched onto Akira very quickly, hadn't been able to handle it. When Akira started to hang out with their other friends, Ryuji's doubts and fears started to pour into his mind, and he hadn't even known that until he had broken down crying his bedroom one night, when he needed a friend - Hide - the most. Through their talks, he was able to realize just how much Akira meant to him, and like Hide to Kaneki, he wasn't able to let go. Not yet.

And that separation between Hide and Kaneki had _hurt._ He thought about what if Akira had acted like that to him after hearing the Kamoshida incident, and he knew he would've been in the same position as Hide. Hell, he still kind of is.

But, as mentioned before, the fault wasn't entirely Kaneki's - there were influences there, mainly, that girl Touka. Ryuji didn't like how hypocritical she'd been about the situation, how she tried to kill Nishiki's girlfriend, how she believed Hide would turn on Kaneki, despite Hide never showing that attitude in the first place. Hypocritical, because she then had a friend, a HUMAN friend, named Yoriko, and did she abandon her as well? Nope. Did anyone try to convince her that being friends with a human was a bad idea? No. If anything, Yoshimura had encouraged it. And Touka didn't try to stop herself, didn't say 'this is a bad idea' and left her with no warning. And if that didn't just burn Ryuji up....

He was glad that Kaneki and Hide had gotten their shit together, but he really think Hide's fear of being abandon wouldn't have happened had Kaneki just told him that he's been changed into a ghoul the very moment he was able to.

Maybe he should talk to Ken about that.     

**Author's Note:**

> I promise - this and the other one are the last two angsty feels-bad fics I'll make for this series. This is suppose to be light and heartwarming while I try to figure out what else Ryuji and Hide can bond over/get into trouble for, this is NOT a place for tears!


End file.
